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We spend a lot of time here at YEAH chatting about Sex Education and how to implement it in an effective non-lame way. Of course, most of our conversations degenerate into storytelling about what Sex Ed was like when we were at school: horror stories of anatomically incorrect genitalia being drawn onto the blackboard, P.E. teachers in shorts awkwardly explaining what a wet dream is, and endless condoms on novelty bananas. That’s not to mention the cringeworthy “educational films” that every high school teacher seemed to have an entire library of. In honour of high school Sex Education, we’ve done a historical roundup of awkward Sex Ed videos from around the web.

 

Enjoy – but please don’t take them too seriously.

 

1. Caught In The Act
In this 70?s PSA, a young man is caught in an intimate moment with his hand by his groovy mother. I actually like this video a lot – it’s great to see a parent reacting in a calm and open-minded way when they catch their kid wanking. The Simon & Garfunkel-esque music lends a soothing air, but I’d like to see more variation in the camerawork; the endless shots of the door handle are a bit ominous.

 

 

2. USS VD: Ship of Shame
In this 1942 US Department of Defense Venereal Disease training film, an inexplicably grouchy army doctors yells at his patients when they present to him with Gonorrhea. I like his liberal attitude to sex – “we didn’t say it was criminal, we just said… you had to protect yourself!” and his pomaded rockabilly hairstyle.

 

 

3. “You Mean Like a Chicken Egg?”
A group of 1950s youths have a casual chat about puberty before basketball practice. Watch this one for the gym teacher’s smooth bedside manner.

 

 

4.”What I wouldn’t have given for a fig leaf… even from a small tree”
This 1960s film has everything – an awkward talk-show introduction, cool hairstyles, and some candid locker room talk about penis size.

 

 

5. Abstinence Video from the 1960s
Apparently being a single mother leaves you with a penchant for ridiculous handbags and an inability to walk down stairs at a normal pace. Luckily in the last 50 years, someone worked out that shaming single mothers isn’t a great way to promote safer sex.

 

 

6. Menstruation Video from the 1970s
This one might be the best Sex Ed video of all time. Linda soliloquises about her lack of menarche accompanied by horrifying Munch-like illustrations. When her first period finally begins, she gains super bowling skills while her doofus boyfriend looks on in dumb admiration. Meanwhile, an extra from Miami Vice who has inexplicably been watching the couple on their date jumps in with some impeccably-timed information about adolescence. Oh, and the kids have a mad milk addiction.
(Disclaimer: getting your period may not give you super bowling skills.)

 

 

We hope you enjoyed these hits from the Lame Sex Ed archives, and please feel free to share your own examples in the comments.

 

Patsy